My kids are almost 3-years old now; they are boy-girl twins and they are in the phase that we have been warned about since long before they were born – the terrible twos. This transitional phase in the cycle of parenthood has been as enlightening as it has been “terrible.” There have been other points in this journey where I realized that in my role as mom, there is an imbalance in my relationship with my husband, but now that my kids can literally TELL us that I am expected to do more, it has become glaringly painful. For me and my husband.
So, what do my personal woes have to do with DEI and inequity within these initiatives? Chaka Booker, a Managing Director of Alumni and Network Impact at the Broad Center recently published a thoughtful piece in Forbes entitled “Are Diversity, Equity And Inclusion Created Equal? Three Ways To Ensure One Doesn’t Trump the Other.” This piece, focused on initiatives for organizations, helped me see how the work that our teeny-tiny team here at Future Leaders Incubator actually mimics both the pitfalls that are all-too common when precedent is engrained, and how we can begin to address them through our shared work. I also have been forced to reflect more thoughtfully on how the work-load associated with equity impacts my family life. We encourage you to read Booker’s entire piece, and have summarized our key take-aways here.
There are three areas where imbalance in Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion initiatives often occur, but if resolved (or avoided all together), attention to these will improve the effectiveness of DEI initiatives. I compare these directly to my relationship with my husband and kids, because despite best intentions, we will always make mistakes. My husband is a great father, a hard-worker, an advocate for equity within our marriage, and my best friend. Yet, as mom, I still do more than dad.
Booker identifies three pitfalls, all of which speak to my heart and soul as I navigate my role as mom and Executive Director of Future Leaders Incubator –
- Distribute the emotional weight equitably – Many organizations seek diverse cohorts of thoughtful people to address Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion, and then expect that this will lead to meaningful and transformative action for the organization. BUT, the flaw is that unless this is intentional work, often those that are not in the historical position of power shoulder the burden of identifying the DEI work that needs to be done, which can cause imbalanced expectations for the emotional work required and cause skepticism regarding the outcomes of such initiatives. He explains, “One-sided discussions happen because of the heightened risk of saying something wrong.” To avoid this, Booker suggests setting group norms that encourage a more balanced distribution of thought-work:
- If you aren’t uncomfortable, you aren’t growing.
- Say what no one else will say, even if you don’t say it well.
- Expect and accept that you will not always reach closure.
This isn’t easy work, but organizations will be more successful if the leaders are willing to model “emotional response and personal vulnerability.” Booker confirms that you WILL make mistakes when sharing and opening up to this type of leadership, which is why it is crucial to continue to model it and also remain open to feedback. Stick to the norms, reinforce them, and know that you are not always going to be “right.”
- Don’t just recruit for diversity – Organizations that are not ready to truly shift to consider the impact of DEI often look to hire people that are open to these conversations and organizational shifts. Booker explains that this can become problematic because “recruitment strategies that only pursue under-represented groups are out of balance and will only get you halfway there.” This is central to the approach that FLI is taking with a multi-faceted approach to diversity and talent for public schools. To that end, Booker suggests 3 questions that should be considered when recruiting new talent:
- What is the most inclusive environment you’ve worked in?
- How do you define diversity?
- Provide an example of when you worked with someone very different than you.
Booker suggests setting expectations about your culture in the same conversation as when you make the offer to a new team member; this is something that FLI works to do long before we even interview. Our mission, rooted in Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion to support students in urban schools MUST always be at the heart of our work. When a school, a leader, or a new educator joins our organization, they are committing to our dedication to all students. Even if their beliefs aren’t deep-rooted yet, we commit to being explicit about our mission and vision in order to increase the odds that we, together, meet our mission.
- Know Your Millennials – Booker explains that generalizations pertaining to the shared experiences of Millennials can lead to “their opinions on DEI carrying more weight and tilting the scales of decision-making.” This is problematic for a few reasons, but mostly because just like all subgroups of people, the stereotypes aren’t necessarily representative of the truth. Instead of making assumptions, or allowing a certain sub-group within your organization take the lead on forming direction, seek to understand. Ask questions. Work with your team to learn what works, what doesn’t, and how to move forward productively.
While each of these do not correlate directly to my role as mom, they all speak to the ways that we sometimes take our roles (and our assumed roles) play out as we work towards a shared vision and mission. At Future Leaders Incubator, we have the opportunity to make an influence in the schools that we partner with, but more than that, we are re-shaping the conversation around what it means to have a talented and diverse staff that is reflective of the students, families, and communities of these schools. This is a shared mission, and we hope you will join us in it.